Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
