Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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