But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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