Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Quick, to the slutcave!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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