we're blogging at a bar
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize