Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
