Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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