i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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