Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I FOUND THE LEGS
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
i out mim tonsoeep
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