operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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