Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
