Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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