I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize