Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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