Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
