Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
