There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize