I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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