i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
