East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Randomize
