im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
you made out with another girl for some wings
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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