Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
