And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
then he tried to convert me to islam
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
