Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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