I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
