i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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