another moral hangover. fuck.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
