ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Randomize
