does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
