Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
