No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm sobbing to NWA
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize