I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize