I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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