Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
