i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have already put on my inside pants.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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