i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
