just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
