super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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