It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
