normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
