I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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