No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
