I bet he comes in French.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize