we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
