i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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