Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Damn victory sex feels great
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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