he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
