Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
