Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
