I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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