I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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