woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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