I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
