That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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