Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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