Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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